A new direction
Sorry about the lack of blog action yesterday. I have a good excuse I promise. I was in scotland, which may not come as a surprise to you. It did however come as a surprise to me and certainly would have to AG.
I had planned to do go to London for a forum on web 2.0 standards, something that I ought to learn more about but at the same time a concept that was sending me to sleep even before I got on the train. As I stood in a long snaking queue for my ticket the urge to run todays itinary past Unazukin became more and more intense.
Now we’ve already ascertained that once Unazukin gets involved, the options cannot be anything that would mirror my real life. Since the choice of “go to your mind numbing forum” is pretty much on a par with my “go about your daily business” post from a few days ago- this option becomes invalid. Basically, by invoking Unazukins powers at all my attendance at the Forum is automatically cancelled.
I decide that I can probably learn all I need to know about web 2.0 standards when they’ve actually been ratified and decide that my destination will be decided by a higher power. I pull out Unazukin and without clouding my mind with the logistical problems of any choices or the possible fallout I think of two random destinations from the top of my head. Wales and Scoland. At this time it was 9.10am unaware that 4 hours later, as I was passing through Birmingham, I would be wishing that i’d paid a little more attention to the logistics.
“Unazukin” I said, with 2 people in front of me in the queue and the ticket office only moments away “Shall i blow out this forum and head for Wales”
2 shakes - She seemed pretty unequivical and it occurred to me that she had a vested interest in getting it right since she would be joining me on my sightseeing trip.
“Unazukin” I continued “Shall Scotland be the reason for our non-appearence at todays event”
2 nods - the clearest decision to date. So clear that it actually gave me comfort and unwavering belief that despite being an unorthodox start to the day - it would turn out to be a day to cherish.
“I’d like a return ticket to Glasgow please” I say to the miserable looking care in the community candidate behind the bullet proof window.
“Coming back when” the crone enquires.
“Tonight - in fact can you find out what time the last train from Glasgow would be?” I ask hopefully. The Crone huffs slightly, gets up from her seat without saying a word and walks off. I wait. After a while I start to feel guilty as there are quite clearly people queuing up and whose trains are leaving very shortly. I want to tell them that it’s not my fault that the Crone has disappeared, I only asked the question assuming that these kind of details can be accessed at the press of a button. I never asked her to go to Glasgow to find out the answer. Where on earth is she? For all I know my request might have been the final straw for the Crone - she might have decided to end it all and simply walked of to hang herself in the bogs.
Just then the Crone re-appears clutching a post-it note covered in scribble. Assuming that this isn’t a suicide note which she has decided to leave with me, the catalyst of her decision to top herself - then this could be the info that i so casually requested what seems like hours ago.
“The last train from Glasgow leaves at 6pm and it will get you back here at 2.30am” says the Crone. At that point I started to understand the enormity (insanity) of my mission. But at least leaving at 6pm ought to give me some time to nose around Glasgow to at least give some kind of point to my journey.
“What time am I likely to arrive in Glasgow” I asked with a certain amount of hesitiation. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to hear the answer. The Crone referred to her scrawl.
“If you hurry you can catch the 9.49am to Victoria. Providing you get all your connections you should be in Glasgow by 5pm.” she scowled. I had prepared myself for the worst, however I have to admit to feeling pretty downhearted as the reality of the situation hit home - namely 1 hour in Glasgow and a glorious 15 hours on a variety of trains. I made it known to the Crone that I would like to purchase a ticket.
“That’ll be £130″. It just gets better.
“At which point do I catch the Helicopter?” I enquired sarcastically.
“There is no Helicopter - this is a train station” the Crone replied without any hint of irony.
“Really? I imagined for £130 there must be a private helicopter and possibly a champagne filled Jacuzzi involved” I sneered - trying to make sure that I got my money’s worth out of her at least.
“If you’d have bought the ticket two weeks in advance it would have been much cheaper” the Crone assured me with a sense of smug satisfaction.
“Yeah brilliant unfortunately two weeks ago I wasn’t even letting Unazukin decide my life - let alone this trip so there is no way…” I cut myself off realising that trying to justify my lack of organisation by blaming it on a small Japanese toy wasn’t going to score any points. I think I saw her mouth the words “special needs” to a colleague who also looked like he had arrived on the ugly bus. I offered my switch card and realised that a good proportion of the journey would need to be utilised in putting together a viable excuse for the money leaving the joint account held my AG and myself.
The journey itself was unremarkable. The Virgin trains were nice, quiet and on time - they even had a little plug socket that allowed me to recharge my PSP and help the journey go that much quicker. I was surprised that for £130 i wasn’t offered the opportunity to reserve a seat but the train wasn’t all that crowded so it was never an issue.
Glasgow itself was nice I suppose. I didn’t really get to see that much of it. Most of my attention was taken keeping one eye on my watch and the other eye on the station make sure that it was always somewhere that I could see it. I did manage to get into a chippie but was disappointed that they weren’t offering the deep fried pizza or mars bars that I had been led to believe was the staple diet of people north of the border.
At 5.50pm I hopped onto my train back down south. I called AG to tell her that the London conference had been great and that I was going for some drinks to “network” with some new contacts - and that she shouldn’t wait up. I arrived back home at 2.45am and was the last person in the station before they locked the gates (I have no idea why they bother to do that because they open them again at 4.30am). I toyed with the idea of getting a cab home but since I had already spunked to much cash on travel I elected to walk - despite my weary state. It’s amazing how sitting on a train doing nothing for most of the day can make you feel so tired.
And that was yesterday. Today I didn’t have the mental or physical energy to set any harrowing task for Unazukin to inflict on me. Since trying to pander to Unazukin seemed to have cost me a disproportunately large amount of money so far - I wondered if maybe she could return the favour. Obviously there are very few jobs that a small plastic egg can undertake - her physical frame just doesn’t allow for it although her mental capacity seems to be on a par with most traffic wardens and electrical store employees. As her main skillset seems to be choosing between two different things, it occured to me that she could try her hand at gambling. Being that we are in the middle of the world cup, I decided to let her choose the winner of a football match and then I would lay money down on her behalf.
There were two matches to day and so I asked her to chose between Germany/Sweden and Argentina/Mexico. Being that my Unazukin is based in Europe she decided to stick with what she knows, quite possible a little reticent to get involved in what looked like might be an typically unpredictable (is that possible?) South American fixture.
“Unazukin” I asked “Germany have the home advantage and are going from strength to strength. Will they win”
1 nod
“Unazukin” I continued “Sweden looked shaky against England and look unlikely to turn over the host. But will they?”
2 shakes
I realise that I had weighted the questions a littlebit but I believe that the power of Unazukin is so strong that she can cut through all that. So Germany to win then. I went to Ladbrokes website and opened up a new account placing a tenner on Germany at 4/6. For anyone who doesnt do betting that basically means that for every 6 pound you put on you get 4 back (plus your original bet). These are not great odds but a football match is really only a 2 horse race so you have a much better chance of picking a winner. Plus Germany were obviously going to destroy Sweden.
And they did. The score was 2-0 and Sweden were lucky to get 0. Our winnings were a massive six and a half quid. Now given the outlay on the lobster and trip to Glasgow I am still out of pocket but I have decided that it would be quite interesting to see whether some laws of chance or averages might give her the ability to help compensate me for other decisions she has made. Either way it will be less aggro than sitting on a train for 15 hours and is exactly the sort of thing that can be kept hidden from AG. I vow to let Unazukin continue to gamble until she loses.