keep on dabbling
Day 2 of my Unazukin get-rich-slow gambling challenge. Unazukin’s footballing feast de jour is Portugal v Netherlands (or Holland as we English like to call it - when did it suddenly become the Netherlands?).
The other match is England v Equador I am pleased that my plastic eggy friend decided not to get involved because an unsettling thought crosses my mind. If Unazukin picks the winner of a football match, I have to entertain the possibility that she isn’t guessing the outcome - but is in fact somehow harnessing the powers of the universe and somehow actually dictating the outcome. In effect it becomes some kind of cosmic self fulfilling proficy - unlikely I know especially since she has so far won one bet which was placed on the out and out favourite. However if she told me to bet on Equador and Equador won - I wouldn’t feel entirely sure that I might have somehow jinxed it for England.
I’m glad she didn’t put me in that position. Despite having some big names Portugal look to be a very bog standard team and Holland boast a wealth of riches including some of the most expensive players in the Premiership. So I ask Unazukin for her guidence.
“Unazukin” I encant “Will the ancient Figo and the diving cry baby have the cahones to turn over a talented Holland side?”
2 nods. Although 1 and 2 nods both means yes - I take this as a big yes from my battery operated friend.
“Unazukin” I chant ” Will Van Horseface and his allstar cast of Dutch masters be too strong for the Portugese?”
2 shakes. I have to say that this is a pretty decisive answer from Unazukin. It seemed unlikely to me and I was with an air of resignation that I put the tenner on a Potugal victory.
The match was pretty eventful to say the least. 16 yellow cards were dished out (making an world cup record) for any number of petty offences. It put me in mind of an old sketch on Not The Nine Oclock News where a racist cop has been repeatedly arresting a black man for bizarre and unlikely offences such as “Looking at me in a funny way”. Another world cup record was the 4 sending offs.
Most impressive was the fact that Unazukin called it. An Early goal by Portugal was the only one of the game and the tenner I put down at 5/2 won me £25. Unazukin paid for herself with my first bet and has now managed to cover half the Lobster/Champaign.
All gamblers believe that once you are on a roll you should make the most of it. By proxy I am going to make sure that Unazukin will be no different.