d’oh cock-up no.2
Well I did say that I was a bit of a novice gambler. Today my lack of understanding of the world of gambling forced Unazukin to make the wrong decision. Well that’s not true. She made the right decision but I applied it wrongly in the betting shop. It was all going swimmingly at first, Unazukin in her usual style selected the match. Again, confident as ever, she decided to go for a really tough call which I think is an interesting trend as she seems to be choosing matches that i’d have to flip a coin on anyway.
Yesterdays choice was Germany v Argentina. Both teams had given a very good account of themselves so far in the tournament and it looked set to be a cracking match. When I consulted Unazukin on her opinion, she started to act very strangely which should have probably given me a clue that something was amiss - but instead of setting off any alarm bells in my head, I tried to amend the questions to get a firm result from her. I explain what I mean:
“Unazukin” I said “Will Germany keep the momentum going and win this tie?”
1 shake. I was disappointed as I think the Germans have created a great world cup and been a good honest team to watch. The Argentinians have played some amazing football too but I’m getting sick of all the cheating and play acting that has been on view so far and you are always only going to see more of that if teams like Argentina stay in the competition.
“Unazukin” I said “Will the Argies be the glorious winners of this interesting fixture?”
2 shakes. Hmm.. looks like it’s going to be a close call and Unazukin is going to have to dig deep to pull this one out of the bag. Time for the next round in this Unazukin oriented knock-out format.
“Unazukin - will Germany win”
1 shake.
“Unazukin - will Argentina win”
2 shakes again. A mirror image - at least she is consistent. This goes on with negative answers for 2 more rounds and I start to think that Unazukin might be broken or at least has maybe decided that the life of a gambler is not for her. I wonder if maybe she thinks I am abusing her God given talent and has maybe gone on strike. I decide to amend the question slightly to see if I can elicit a response by asking the same thing in a different way.
“Unazukin - will Argentina be going home after this game?”
1 nod. Eureka - so she isnt broken then, she was just being awkward.
“Unazukin - will Germany be going home after this game?”
1 shake. The jobs a good’un. Oh you can try - but you can’t outwit me, even if you are a battery operated pocket money toy.
I was out and about all day today and nowhere near a computer, so I decided that i’d have to visit a betting office. This unnerved me a little since, as strange as it may seem, i’ve never been in one before and admit that the prospect daunted me a little.
The “Bookies” (as I now call it - being an old pro at this now) is littered with tired looking old fellahs with dead eyes, impossible amounts of wrinkles and roll-ups permanently attached to their bottom lips. The staff however are really helpful and show me how to fill in a betting slip - which bizarrely makes me feel like a real man (finally!)
And here it is. My first ever betting slip. I am so proud.
At this point it was so far so good. Except that my gambling learning curve was about to take a steep incline. You see what I hadn’t realised was that wold cup football bets are decided over 90 minutes. The fact that one team will go on to win in extra time or penalties is completely ignored. I’ve been lucky up until now that all of the games we have bet were decided within normal time. As you are probably aware - this game was effectively drawn (which I think is what Unazukin was trying to tell me) and the fact that Germany destroyed the Argies in a penalty shoot out was neither here nor there. It was a shame that I had to have it explained to me by lad behind the counter at Ladbrokes, in front of the battered looking clientelle, as I excitedly tried to claim my winnings this morning.
I can’t blame this on Unazukin. I have to hold my hands up on this. I asked her if Germany or Argentina would win and her superior knowledge of the world of gambling meant that she wouldn’t commit. It was only when I asked her who was going home that she game me an answer - and unfortunately that wasn’t what I bet on. The guy in at Ladbrokes did tell me that they do offer odds on the outright winner, which are reduced as it takes the chance of a draw out of the equation and I decide that I will use this route in future.
In view of this - Unuzukins gambling record stands unblemished at £46.50 - and from now on I will factor the possibility of a draw into the process.